Help with depression!!?

i feel that i am severely depressed. i feel alone, i wanna be alone, i'm miserable and crying...can't concentrate, tension headaches, nausea, don't even feel like opening my mouth to speak..it's too much effort...been this way for a while now...tried to be positive and all the other times i've come out of the depression, but now i'm feeling helpless, hopeless, like there's no future for me anymore...i'm fighting crazy thoughts and can't pull myself away from them...i want there to be another answer...but i feel like i'm giving up hope...i'm so tired of fighting...i don't want to be on medicine for the rest of my life...this isn't supposed to happen to bubbly little amy...if my parents knew my thoughts they would be so disappointed in me for not fighting harder...can someone tell me how to make myself feel normal again? i don't want to tell a therapist how i feel for fear that she would commit me against my will and then i would be the laugh for my family and coworkers because i couldn't "handle" life. i feel trapped in every way imaginable